As I start my journey of the craft, I’m realizing much about myself. I supposed that the Craft is more that magick – it’s about self-realization as well. True enough, I wish to understand the true nature of reality and our place on this planet and in the universe. However, in order to find these answers, we must look within.
While self-reflecting, I started to realize some things about myself. For one, I have this insatiable greed for money. I work myself to death chasing behind a dollar bill – for a currency that does even have real value. But why? Why am I so desperate for money? Why do I feel I never have enough? Why am I elated at the prospect of buying things?
I don’t have the answer to these questions nor do I know how to break out this bad habit. But it is definitely something I need to work on. I am a consumer – I have a consumer mindset. This particular mindset is toxic. It strips away at the joy of living.
I work so much that I forget to spend time on me. I’ve worked so much, so hard for so long that I’ve actually forgotten what having fun means to me.
Also, I lack self-discipline. I’ve kinda always known this but I hadn’t realized how much this affected my life until I did some self-reflection. I’m going to make some new rules for myself to follow. I must abide by these every day.
For one, when I wake up, I will not look at my cell phone. We’ve become addicted to our cell phone and gadgets. Everything is all about social media – who posted while we were sleep, did our post get any likes or comments, who messaged me…. I feel this too is toxic. It takes us away from the now.
So, I’m going to buy an alarm clock for my room and I will use that to check the time instead of grabbing my phone. Because once I pick up my phone, I know that I’m not just going to check the time and put my phone back down.
Also, when I get out of bed, I will make it a habit to make up bed. I never make up my bed. But, the simple act of making up my bed makes my room look so much neater. The neatness of my room puts me in a good mood and makes me feel more organized. So, I think it’s important I get into the daily routine of making my bed.
Next, I will spend some time meditating. It need not be long, but I do need to meditate. It’s through meditation and fasting that I learned to recognize my ego speaking. Once I gain control over my ego, I can advance in my spiritual journey. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with the ego; but I’ve given the ego too much control over my life. This is probably contributes to my lack of self-discipline. I’m ready to kick the ego out of the driver’s seat.
As I move along, I hope to create more morning/afternoon/evening (I wake up at different times on different days) rituals. I will see how this practice benefits me in the long run.
Until next time….