I’ve been in a bit of a low vibration mood. I’ve been a nurse for seven years and I’m just burned out. I don’t want to keep being a nurse. I want to do something else that’s more fulfilling. Sounds weird, doesn’t it?
You would think that the noble profession of nursing would fulfill me. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy helping other people, but healthcare is fucking business first. So, taking care of people comes second to the business needs. It’s that part of nursing that frustrates the hell out me..
And I’m actually very introverted. So, having to constantly interact with other people drains my soul like you wouldn’t believe. You come across damn near every personality type in nursing, and the people that work in nursing all seem to have a screw loose. I’m so not for the drama.
I’m ready to move into another field. I’m ready to do something that when I wake up, my feet hit the floor excited to get the day started. I’m tired of waking up dreading the day because I know I have to go work. This is not going to work for me.
Of course, figuring out my path now is not easy. If I have any regrets, it would be not following my heart when I was younger and had the freedom to try new things and fail. Right now, all I think about is if I fail, then it’s over. I can’t afford to fail.
I got a child depending on me.
But honestly, is the way I’m going really what’s best for her or me?
In the end though, nothing is going to happen until I start to initiate the change. I’ve got to get the ball rolling.
That’s the thing about life – it’s constantly movement. The universe is movement. The winds blows. The sun rises and set. The trees go through death and rebirth as the seasons changes. Everything is movement.
So, honestly, nothing in my life will until I start to move. I need more discipline in my life. I’m thinking I need to start with small steps and build up to bigger things in order to become more discipline – like making my bed up each time I get out of it. Cause I never make my bed. I’m usually always in it.
Yeah. I think I’ll try something like that first.
Heh, journaling really does help you figure things out.